The tale of my worst New Years Eve, ever.

New Year 2009.jpg

My worst NYE ever started out well, but it didn't end so well... 

In fact, it ended in tears. 

But let me step you back in time for a moment to explain. That is a picture of me above {I'm the one on the right} back in 2009. On the surface I may have looked like I was ok, but underneath I was desperately unhappy {which I think you can see in my eyes - the eyes never lie!}. It was meant to be a fun night - a 1920's themed party on the Sunshine Coast of Australia - but it wasn't. Nothing went wrong that night, I just remember feeling desperately lonely and empty inside, even though I was amongst a sea of friends. 

It was a horrible feeling, and one I had carried with me for some time. 

At the strike of midnight, I had to remove myself from the festivities because I was on the verge of tears and I didn't want anyone to know. I went and stood by the window, watching the surf roll in, thinking 'how can I keep going like this for another year'? I had moved to Queensland earlier in 2009 for a fresh start, and it was fresh for a time, but I had caught up with myself. You see, the problem wasn't with my surroundings {because moving hadn't fixed that}, it wasn't with my job {I'd changed that too}, it wasn't with my friends {they were great fun}, it was with me. I couldn't escape me and my own thoughts. 

And they were all sorts of unhappy. 

The next morning I got up early and went for a walk along the headlands by myself. I sat on a park bench overlooking the sea and did some tearful soul searching. I realised that I needed to do something to help my situation; I just couldn't bear another year of putting up a brave face on the outside whilst crying on the inside. I couldn't bear to wake up another morning with that all too familiar feeling of emptiness, which I would cover over by getting busy every day. 

So my worst new years ever actually became my catalyst for change. 

When you're at rock bottom, the only way is up! I decided at that point, on that bench, that enough was enough. I'd had it - I was a positive person, and I wanted to get back to being positive again and genuinely happy through to my core {which is what I consider 'joy' to be}, not just surface level happy {which is a fleeting emotion that can come and go}.

I took the reigns of my life back, and starting doing things to regain some control. I bought some nice Lorna Jane workout gear {which I got a LOT of wear out of, lol}, I jumped on a dating website to get myself 'out there', and I started reflecting on what sort of person I wanted to be. I had started the journey to rise up and out of the pit. And rise I did, but I soon discovered that on their own, those things weren't enough to climb right out of it... 

Wanna know what the most effective thing I did was?

Personal development. I started a course that ended up transforming me from the inside out {and which I later went on to lead, helping multiple other young women do the same}. It uncovered my untrue thought patterns, helped me establish my true identity, and got me in the right place emotionally, spiritually, and bodily. It helped me to rise up and begin to flourish in all aspects of me - life, relationships, and career. And 10 years down the track, I can safely say the change has been permanent. Sure, there have been many more ups and downs for me since then, but because I had anchored myself on a solid foundation, I weathered those storms more effectively than the 'old me' could have. 

And it's because of this experience, that I have a BURNING DESIRE to help others break free, rise up and begin to flourish. It takes courage to do that, which is why I have called my new program 'Flourish Boldy'. You can check out what it's all about here.

But stay tuned to your email tomorrow, because I've got something REALLY exciting to share with you. You won't want to miss it!!!

With love + joy

Cath xo

'Why live with less when you were made for more'? 
- Cath Doocey

Catherine Doocey