My story

They say that your calling comes from your greatest challenges… and I have certainly found this to be true. What was once my heartache has now become my heart hustle.

Let me tell you a little about this…

So I guess it all started in my mid-20’s. On the surface, I looked like I had this thing called life sorted. My social life was buzzing, I had travelled the world and gathered a LONG list of amazing experiences working for a well-known tour company. I’d recently gained my Masters in Organisational Psychology and won 2 x prestigious awards for having achieved the highest marks in my course cohort. Before I’d even graduated I had landed a great job in a consulting firm in the city. I was building an impressive CV that sounded really good, on paper.

Underneath it was a different story though...

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I felt like an imposter. I had the Masters Degree, I had the awards, I had a blooming career. But did I have happiness?

Far from it...

I used to wake up each morning with a mixture of stress, misery, and emptiness gnawing at me in the pit of my stomach. I lived for the weekend but would DREAD Sunday nights as it meant the next day I had to go back to a job I had grown to hate. On the surface it looked like I had it all together, but I did not, and keeping up the charade was exhausting

When there is a disconnect between the ‘you’ you’re presenting to the world, and the ‘you’ who lives underneath the that facade, something’s gotta give eventually. And that for me was my health, happiness, and wellbeing. I felt stressed, burnt out, lonely {despite having a fantastic circle of friends}, and downright miserable.

And through all of this, my false sense of identity {based on my title} stopped me from asking for help; I was the ‘Psychologist’ – I wore that title like a badge of honour. It meant that I had ARRIVED people! I thought that I had to have it all together because if I didn’t, well, people would find out I was just posing.

But after about 2 years, it all got too much. I was so stressed, miserable, and utterly downtrodden that I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore or the bullying and belittling I was receiving from my boss.  And on top of all this was the pain of my love life {or lack thereof}. I’d had boyfriends, some serious, some not, but I longed for that special someone who I could just be real with. Who I didn’t have to ‘keep up appearances’ with, who knew me for who I was, and loved me all the same.

I have a saying that I can handle things going pear shaped in one area of my life {e.g. work}, but can’t handle it if 2 or more areas are in chaos {i.e. love and work}. That’s when I find I make rash decisions where I don’t consider the consequences {incidentally, I often find that when I can’t handle things, I dye my hair a radically different colour – lol, if you see me as a deep chestnut brunette again, you’ll know something is wrong!}.

So, with love and career both in a shambles, I did something rash and got a job in Queensland. I upped and moved 2000kms away, half-way up Australia and away from my life. Having settled in, I thought I was getting back to being me as I’d now sorted the ‘career pillar’, but turns out I was wrong. I was trying to escape my old life, but you see, I’d taken ‘me’ with me, so I couldn’t escape anything as the issue was inside me, and was not due to my circumstances.

Despite my career getting back on track, I still had a gaping hole in my heart – those sinking heart-feels hadn’t left me. So I tried to ‘fix’ it by entering into a string of relationships – as one finished I was onto the next. I had to hit rock bottom before I was given the jolt I needed… that I needed to get right with God and work on creating my own happiness from the inside, rather than rely on things on the outside to bring it to me.

And then the transformative work began.

I went to work on myself BIG TIME. Again, I did something drastic and {rightly or wrongly} pulled away from my group of friends, bought an apartment to live by myself {told you it was drastic!}, and started a self-development program that gave me incredible heart-healing. Through this I discovered my true identity, and I can tell you it felt AMAZING! To shake off the shackles that bound me was truly freeing. I had changed from the inside out, and it showed – I glowed with happiness that was clear to everyone around me. I had to cry a FLOOD of tears to get there, but they were not from self-pity, they were washing away years of pain over poor choices and a lifetime of entanglements and unforgiveness.

So fast forward a year from that point and I'd risen up out of the pit, my life was on track, my career was flying, and I met my husband-to-be, and was married 18 months later. I left my corporate role to have my first baby a few years after that, moved to Melbourne, and later welcomed a second beautiful girl into our family. 

HELLO FLOURISHING!

Was this easy? No, not at all. Did I want to give up? Yes, at some points it was really painful and I just wanted it all to go away. Did staying the path require courage? Absolutely! Would I have done it differently given my time over? Nope - without having gone through all this I would not have grown to become the person I am today.

Which brings us to why I have set up Flourish Boldly as a program. I have to say, taking a break out of the corporate world to have my babies has been the best thing for me to find what makes my heart truly sing. Sure, I enjoyed my corporate jobs, but they stopped fulfilling me when my identity had shifted and was no longer in my title. My job had simply become what I did, not who I was - it ceased to define me, and that was so liberating! The time out of the corporate game gave me the blessed space to work out what truly fulfils me, and that is helping women LIKE YOU find their strengths, remove the blockages, and encourage you to take action so you FLOURISH in a BOLD way. Even writing that makes my heart skip a beat and brings a smile to my face!

I genuinely believe that if you are still here reading this looooong story, it's because you’re meant to be reading it.  A mentor of mine talks about heart-hustle being the only hustle we should ever do {AKA following that niggle till it gets you to your dreams!} and I couldn’t agree with her more. Through this program I am TOTALLY following my heart-hustle, and I want to help you find what yours can be.

So, what are you waiting for!?! Let's do this!!!! 

#flourishbabyflourish

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